No Problem Here
by Moogle Princess
Summary: An ExTurk, a teenage ninja, a rainy day. What's to be done when your roomate won't let you nap?


No Problem Here 

Vincent hated the rain. It wasn't something most people expected to hear out of him. For some reason, rain seemed to fit his character. Before he'd begun travelling with Avalanche, the weather had never mattered to him. Nothing had mattered to him, he'd been living in a coffin. Now, rainy days meant that Avalanche had a hard time travelling. They often stopped at the nearest inn to rent rooms and stay until the rain stopped. With the rain falling outside and little to no activity inside, everyone was forced to find ways to amuse themselves.

And Yuffie had a difficult time doing that. Not for the first time, Vincent tried to sort out Cloud's reasoning. He didn't want the three girls staying in a room alone. He was convinced that, should someone try to break into their room at an inn, the girls wouldn't be able to protect themselves. He and Barret took Tifa and the first room. Cloud assigned Aeris, Red, and Cait Sith to the second and Vincent, Cid, and Yuffie to the third. Vincent secretly thought that Cloud wanted Tifa in his own room for whatever his reasoning.

He really couldn't care less why he did it. After they had unpacked, Vincent settled down on the bed to rest. Cid had taken himself off to play cards with Barret leaving Yuffie alone in the room with him. After cleaning her weapons and wandering around their room for a few minutes, she came to perch herself on the edge of the bed and talk to him. After ten minutes of ceaseless babbling, Yuffie came to a conclusion.

"Vinny, did anyone ever tell you that you're _really_ boring?"

He sighed and opened one eye, "Only you Yuffie."

Yuffie heaved a large sigh, "Well you _really_ are! Why can't you ever do something? You just sit around and sleep all day… like a vampire or something!"

A frown crossed her face. Yuffie studied him carefully for a few long moments. Her head tilted to the side slightly and Vincent could practically see the wheels turning in her mind. He despised that look. It was the same look she gave Cloud before throwing something at him or Cid before she stole his flight goggles. It never meant anything good.

"We found you asleep in a coffin too… like a vampire." Yuffie murmured, she sat up and smiled brightly, "Hey Vinny, if I shoved a pointy piece of wood into your heart would you go poof like in the movies?"

Sheer shock kept Vincent from speaking. He could hardly believe that those words had come out of Yuffie's mouth. Yuffie watched him again for a moment before asking, "How do you go out in sunlight? Do you wear some kind of special sun block?"

Vincent closed his eyes and drew in a quiet breath. Cloud must have put him in here with Yuffie and Cid, the team's two loudest members, because he thought that Vincent could ignore it. Just because he didn't show annoyance didn't mean that he didn't feel it though. There was only so much one man could take… even he had his limits. Enough was enough! Yuffie would have to be dealt with in the only way he knew how.

Click.

Yuffie's gray eyes grew wide as she looked into the barrel of Vincent's gun. He had managed to slip it out of the holster at his hip and point it at the tip of her nose without her noticing. After staring in shock at the gleaming gray metal for a few silent moments, Yuffie let loose an ear-shattering scream.

Vincent heard the wild thudding of his teammates' feet and the door slamming against the wall, but he ignored it. His teammates gasped in astonishment at what they were seeing. Vincent ignored it all, concentrating on Yuffie's face.

"What the hell are you waitin' for Vincent?" Cid asked with a grin, "Do it already!"

"Shut up Cid." Cloud hissed, elbowing the pilot in his stomach.

Then Yuffie stopped screaming and collapsed against the gunslinger in a dead faint. His lips quirked up just slightly under the collar of his cape. He slipped his gun back into the holster. It was a trick that he had learned while being a Turk. Staring down the barrel of a gun was one of the most frightening things a person could think of. Fear was a good way to incapacitate people.

Vincent lifted the unconscious ninja girl and placed her on her own bed. After carefully tucking her in like a father would a daughter, Vincent turned back to a very amused group of rebels.

"You may return to what you were doing." He said casually as he lay back down on his own bed, "There is not a problem here."

Cid grinned again, "I still say you should have done it, Valentine."

Vincent shrugged and pulled his bandana over his eyes. Everyone shuffled out and someone closed the door again. Soon he heard nothing but the quiet sound of Yuffie's breathing. A smile crossed Vincent's lips for a few seconds. Vampire indeed.

Author's Note:

A real quick story. It was actually a scene I was writing to be added into another story, but it was such a good scene I tried to turn it into it's own one-shot. Hope you enjoyed it.


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